Jason King
AmyHuangWhat's Your Biggest Cooking Disaster?
November 24th 2009 07:20
With Christmas just upon us many cooking disasters abound with so many people at your house, the stress of Christmas and the desire to cook beyond your skill level to impress the masses. I got the idea for this article after my bestest friend, and occasional himbo, Sam, decided to bake a cake for someone in his dorm at university in Bathurst.
Sam will kill me for this post but the genius accidentally iced said cake with tartare sauce
. Yep, the stuff you eat with fish. His reasoning was that it looked like cream, it was white and he assumed it was meant for a cake. I asked if he could not smell it. No was the answer I got. Hahahahahahahahaha. Let's just say the cake did not get cut, no one got to kiss the closest male to their left for a dirty knife and the cake ended up being put in the bin. This time Sammy, it was an amazing gesture of "it's the thought that counts".
This is why I cook the dinners when Sammy visits. I also have to send thanks to Max for dobbing on Sam and telling me the story.
My dearly departed Nan used to have oodles of cooking disasters for me but to her it was a normal experience. She is the only person I know who could burn water. OK - well boil the pan empty and then nearly set the pan on fire. She was also the master of cooking veggies so they became clear and you could see through them. I miss those funny cooking experiences
My greatest disaster also came from my greatest effort in making a meal and from the amazing help of a shop assistant. I found this recipe years ago for a seafood squid ink risotto. Just the thought of black rice had me all excited. Nothing was going to stop me and I was living in Surry Hills and needed squid ink to dye the rice. I called about twenty different shops ranging from gourmet food shops to fish mongers. At last I found a place at Bondi - it's still an amazing seafood shop on the way down into Bondi from the south end. I wish I knew their name to give them a rap. But the guy said to me that he was sorry they did not sell any but if I wanted to drive down he would ink some squid for me before I got there and my problem would be solved. It was a deal, so I drove to this place and he gave me a jar for free. He wanted nothing in return - bloody awesome customer service!!
Anyways I got home and made this meal for a dinner party of 5 and I have to say that it was THE MOST DISGUSTING MEAL I HAVE EVER EATEN OR MADE. I hated it so much that I removed everyone's plate. Everyone kept saying "it isn't that bad" - I knew they were being polite - I threw the lot out and shouted pizzas and drank my embarrassment away. Horrible experience!!
So enough of these stories - WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST COOKING DISASTER?
Sam will kill me for this post but the genius accidentally iced said cake with tartare sauce
. Yep, the stuff you eat with fish. His reasoning was that it looked like cream, it was white and he assumed it was meant for a cake. I asked if he could not smell it. No was the answer I got. Hahahahahahahahaha. Let's just say the cake did not get cut, no one got to kiss the closest male to their left for a dirty knife and the cake ended up being put in the bin. This time Sammy, it was an amazing gesture of "it's the thought that counts".This is why I cook the dinners when Sammy visits. I also have to send thanks to Max for dobbing on Sam and telling me the story.
My dearly departed Nan used to have oodles of cooking disasters for me but to her it was a normal experience. She is the only person I know who could burn water. OK - well boil the pan empty and then nearly set the pan on fire. She was also the master of cooking veggies so they became clear and you could see through them. I miss those funny cooking experiences
My greatest disaster also came from my greatest effort in making a meal and from the amazing help of a shop assistant. I found this recipe years ago for a seafood squid ink risotto. Just the thought of black rice had me all excited. Nothing was going to stop me and I was living in Surry Hills and needed squid ink to dye the rice. I called about twenty different shops ranging from gourmet food shops to fish mongers. At last I found a place at Bondi - it's still an amazing seafood shop on the way down into Bondi from the south end. I wish I knew their name to give them a rap. But the guy said to me that he was sorry they did not sell any but if I wanted to drive down he would ink some squid for me before I got there and my problem would be solved. It was a deal, so I drove to this place and he gave me a jar for free. He wanted nothing in return - bloody awesome customer service!!
Anyways I got home and made this meal for a dinner party of 5 and I have to say that it was THE MOST DISGUSTING MEAL I HAVE EVER EATEN OR MADE. I hated it so much that I removed everyone's plate. Everyone kept saying "it isn't that bad" - I knew they were being polite - I threw the lot out and shouted pizzas and drank my embarrassment away. Horrible experience!!
So enough of these stories - WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST COOKING DISASTER?
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Comment by Helen Randell
Rough Cooking
Not knowing any better, when the recipe said to add a cup of stock, we added a cup of stock powder.
Needless to say, the rice didn't cook, because there was no moisture, and the salty stock flavouring was not good.
My dad powered through it, but the rest of us moved on to dessert pretty quickly!
Comment by samantha-elley
Food Journo
The Sandwich Shak
Vintage Foodie
Little House among the Canefields
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
Have a great day ladies
Comment by Lisa Kitney
I think I told about grabbing the self-raising flour by mistake, rather than regular flour, and my chocolate chip cookie-bars in a 11 x 15inch flat pan puffed and overflowed all over the oven... what a mess! But what remained in the pan tasted good!
Just thought of a worse disaster: My (previous) wedding was in our home at Christmastime, in the Northern USA, with just family and close friends. I put a huge goose in the oven to roast, for the dinner that evening. My mother's ancient roasting pan developed a small hole in the bottom during roasting, and dripped all the goose fat into the bottom of the oven where it caught fire and smoked the entire house! Needless to say, it was difficult to air out the house for a wedding, when it was -20 degrees!
I'm sure I can think of more disasters!
Lisa
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
Orble been messing with me the last week or two. Today Sydney Table and Total Randomness disappeared altogether and threw me out of the top 20 writers - BOO.