Jason King
AmyHuangMeaty Flavored Varieties: The New Water Bottle Flavours
March 8th 2009 05:10
Now that we can get water purchased with flavouring of every fruit and other varieties that claim to provide you with all the minerals and vitamins you will ever need a company has come along with a genius business idea. Meat Water is our new fad destined to not only provide you with a meal in a water bottle but to assis in ever increasing piles of landfill.
With over 40 meat flavours to choose from - this would have to be a Biggest Loser's dream meal - you get all the flavours but NO solids - the weightloss would be phenomanal. I am sold. I am going to order a case of: (please note the flavour descriptions are directly off their website and not my witty comments)
Dirty Hotdog Water (from the primary flavours range):
An authentic taste of the Big Apple you can sip through a straw! Ever wondered how those street cart vendors go when they have to go? With all that dirty water just sitting right there? Now try to enjoy this liquidy libation! Hot Dog!
Or how about:
Pizza prosciutto (from the breakfast range):
Prosciutto, champignons, gorgonzola cheese, with a drippy crust
Remember John Travolta strutting down the street chowing on his double slices in Saturday Night Fever? Well we recreate the flavor of a brick-oven Bay Ridge slice by taking Tuscan prosciutto, San Marzano tomatoes, stinky gorgonzola, champignons and a hint of basil and putting all that into a super-nutricious Energy Drink that won’t get tomato sauce on your polyester suit!
A real college flashback for a true world champion.
Then there are waters like:
Rocky Mountain Oysters (from the midnight snack range) - it will also surprise you Oysters are not Oysters in the Rocky Mountains:
Fried bull testicles with onions (flour crusted)
Yee Haw! Imagine you’re a cowboy or cowgirl, saddled up to get those doggies on the long cattle drive home! It sure gets lonely late at night camped out under the stars. And some o’ them bulls gets a mite ornery with all them lady cows around. So a resourceful cow hand’ll get a pair of snips for fence buildin’ and turn that bull from a rooster to a hen, then fry up the leftovers for a prairie treat. Our version lets you avoid the messy clipping-bull-parts stuff and chug-a-lug cowboy style!
Some like it hot!
Or to live it up I could order:
Horrible Haggis (from the luxury range):
Sheeps stomach, neeps 'n tatties (offal)
Our kitchen porter, MacTavish MacGillicuddy, is a growly, gruff old Scot! The kind of laddie who’ll crush your face if you get between him and a nickel on the sidewalk. But every January 25, he cooks up an enormous Haggis for Burns Supper. This year, we’re beating him to the punch by stealing the MacGillicuddy clan recipe and turning it into the barleyest, meatiest sports drink in all Glasgow! Put on yer kilts, ye bonnie bagpipers, and get ye tae drinkin’! Contains real sheep stomach and Scotch Whiskey!
Best served at body temperature.
Beilieve it or not - this is all genuine - here are responses to questions from the company:
When was the brand launched and what was the first flavour produced?
Launched in Q2 2007. Wiener Schnitzel was the first flavor, based on a Krautkrämer family recipe.
When was Liquid Innovations founded? What is Liquid Innovations?
Founded by Till Krautkrämer and Brian Kane in Q1 2007. MeatWater was the first product line. It is a rapidly growing worldwide network of talented scientists and artists connected via the world wide web, employed in a broad spectrum of professional spaces necessary for building a successful brand strategy.
What is MeatWater?
MeatWater provides the essence of nutrition and the memory of dining without the hassle of eating. Professionals need ruthless efficiency to thrive in today's busy marketplace. People don't have time to google, walk their dogs, or stop their workflow simply to take in a meal. Successful people today are demanding the next generation of efficiency and luxury, and our innovative lifetool provides that for such an elite consumer.
What were your intentions when creating Meatwater?
MeatWater is a campaign to raise awareness to pay attention and promote responsible global citizenship. Our mission is to create an artificial beverage like no other, establish unparalleled closeness with our privileged consumers, and inspire creativity and connectedness. By encouraging our consumers to demand their personal flavors, our user generated flavor line allows people to give back to the entire active lifestyle community. This user focused approach to agile product development lets us involve our customers directly in the process, building a strong brand and delivering just in time nutrition and refreshment with a degree of specificity never before seen in the beverage industry. It's what
they want, how they want it, when they need it.
What was the inspiration for the drink?
Our first inspiration is consumerism and the concept of "time saving". Many new products make a selling point of how much time can be saved if only you buy some new thing. Cars, computers and other gadgets claim to free you from the drudgery of labor. People search for more effective, more efficient ways to perform even the simplest tasks – especially eating! Protein shakes, energy drinks, and powerbars are all ways people seek to get nutrients without really eating. The second source of inspiration were all the colorful beverages out there on the market, begging to be consumed.
Can man live off Meatwater alone? Would you encourage people to shun solid food and follow a liquid diet?
MeatWater is primarily a lifestyle product. No two people are the same, and no two lifestyles are the same. Always consult a physician before changing diet plans. Given the high end nature of our product, it is unlikely that most people could afford a MeatWater only diet.
For those qualifying customers who can, the choice would be theirs. For those enthusiasts that embrace a homeopathic philosophy, we believe MeatWater will compliment their lifestyle.
We believe in choice. As food scientists, we have learned that at a quantum level it becomes increasingly difficult to differentiate between liquid and solid. Therefor, we believe that each individual should be able to make that choice for themselves, based on their own identity, and without interference. Many people choose to mix MeatWater with vodka, again a lifestyle choice. This allows people to combine dinner and drinks, providing an even higher level of efficiency for today's busy athlecutive. This trend emerged from our users, and was not part of the initial design. We encourage these types of unintended innovations from our customers, and try to respond to their needs in a rapid manner.
I have moral objections to the consumption of animal products. Are there any plans for a tofu
sausage flavour? Maybe a VeggieWater sub-brand?
We fully understand and embrace your moral position. While our current product line does require the input of animal products, we are working on a new product line which will satisfy the needs of the most demanding vegetarian or vegan. Today's consumer is faced with difficult ethical and moral dilemmas in the market, and we seek to merge science
with morality. While we are not at the liberty to divulge trade secrets at the moment, we can tell you that we are working with life-sciences engineers to develop a revolutionary new bioflavinoid ingredient which will finally provide vegetarians a real choice in the market. A byproduct of stem cell research and advanced flavor science, our new ingredient will be grown in the foodlab and will be identical to meat in every way, but with more consistent
flavor and tenderness. Imagine a juicy steak grown in the lab, ready for grilling without any need for tenderizer or marinade and without the need to harm any animal in the process. We believe this is a delicious and cruelty free solution to feeding the world. It is truly vegetarian meat, ready to serve.
What quantities are you selling right now and in which areas is MeatWater available?
The product is available for fully sponsored events that cater to discriminating clientele universally. We produce to the highest standards, so our just in time production process satisfies the demands of the highest end water consumers.
Do the products authentically replicate the flavours on the label? Have you sought any technical expertise in formulating the drinks?
Yes, we sought professional help, and started to work closely with a flavor and color scientist, as well as small independent R D bottling plants in NY and MA.
What has consumer response been to the water and which is their favourite flavour?
People love the experience. We turn sceptical looks into smiles. It truly is a look good, feel good, do good experience. The most popular flavor is Cheeseburger.
Is protein a serious component in the drink? Who is the target consumer group?
The protein is secondary - our primary focus is on looking good. The initial focus groups have been pre-qualified art galleries and museums - presenting promising new products served at body temperature to elite consumers that are not afraid to confront taste and flavor. You would never argue about it in a place where imagination is encouraged.
Who drinks MeatWater, and when? Is it a meal supplement?
A beverage designed by humans for humans. Breakfast is specifically designed for morning hours (though it is offered 24/7 at all MeatWater™ serving facilities). All other MeatWater flavors are designed to be used anytime when a busy schedule does not permit a break for solid food ingestivities. Select, discerning people drink MeatWater whenever they want to, wherever they are. MeatWater is part of a healthy diet. It is also a meal enhancement, or a fine dining replacement. The key word here is dining, which should be distinguished from
waters used primarily for snacking and/or snack supplementation.
Once opened, does MeatWater need to be refridgerated?
We encourage our customers to dilute our drink over and over again to increase the potency of our product and extend it's life span with the help of local water. Instructions on the label explain how to properly introduce friction to the product and increase the water’s own memory. This intensifies the taste and extends the total MeatWater experience. It is not necessary to keep it refridgerated, but MeatWater should be consumed within 72 hours from the time of opening to ensure authentic flavor!
Is MeatWater available yet for general sale? Where can people sample it?
General sales, yes. Specific, point of purchase sales are still being implemented. We are not so much interested in "samplers," whom we see as slightly opportunistic. Those interested in consuming it, without reservations, can drop by at one of our events..
Will it be in health shops or normal beverage outlets?
Gas stations are our main outlet, besides galleries and regular beverage markets. Health shops not so much.
What, in simple language, are you recommending as the best way to take this drink? For example, how much in one go, how many times a day, week etc?
This is a difficult question, as so much is situational, and the context of any scenario may be more or less important than the scenario itself. We do not encourage our privileged consumers to stop eating solid food completely. We attempt to inspire them to host dinner parties for friends and family at least three times a week.
What you think the western world will regret in 20 years time?
Not paying enough attention to water. Water is essential to life, and we should all pay attention. This is why we are trying to raise awareness around the world today. You are two thirds water. The planet is two thirds water. Shouldn't you focus two thirds of you attention on water, too? We believe so. We are proud supporters of World Water Day, and will continue to be into the future.
Can you successfully grow a tongue-in-cheek brand or is this going to remain a novelty product?
Anyone can do anything they want with a water product. You can sell any liquid as long as it doesn't kill somebody. It's all a matter of taste whether anyone will buy. In fact, it could taste terrible and people would buy the water if it they think that something that tastes god-awful is something more 'real.' Astronauts drink reprocessed urine. Space programs need to reduce water weight in space crafts. We aspire higher.
What’s next for you?
We are engaged in a round of financing discussions to develop a next generation food which leverages the micro-gravity environment. This matter is confidential at the moment, but we will be announcing the concept when the talks are complete. If you would like to stay in the loop on this, sign up for email alerts on our website, HERE
With over 40 meat flavours to choose from - this would have to be a Biggest Loser's dream meal - you get all the flavours but NO solids - the weightloss would be phenomanal. I am sold. I am going to order a case of: (please note the flavour descriptions are directly off their website and not my witty comments)
Dirty Hotdog Water (from the primary flavours range):
An authentic taste of the Big Apple you can sip through a straw! Ever wondered how those street cart vendors go when they have to go? With all that dirty water just sitting right there? Now try to enjoy this liquidy libation! Hot Dog!
Or how about:
Pizza prosciutto (from the breakfast range):
Prosciutto, champignons, gorgonzola cheese, with a drippy crust
Remember John Travolta strutting down the street chowing on his double slices in Saturday Night Fever? Well we recreate the flavor of a brick-oven Bay Ridge slice by taking Tuscan prosciutto, San Marzano tomatoes, stinky gorgonzola, champignons and a hint of basil and putting all that into a super-nutricious Energy Drink that won’t get tomato sauce on your polyester suit!
Then there are waters like:
Rocky Mountain Oysters (from the midnight snack range) - it will also surprise you Oysters are not Oysters in the Rocky Mountains:
Fried bull testicles with onions (flour crusted)
Yee Haw! Imagine you’re a cowboy or cowgirl, saddled up to get those doggies on the long cattle drive home! It sure gets lonely late at night camped out under the stars. And some o’ them bulls gets a mite ornery with all them lady cows around. So a resourceful cow hand’ll get a pair of snips for fence buildin’ and turn that bull from a rooster to a hen, then fry up the leftovers for a prairie treat. Our version lets you avoid the messy clipping-bull-parts stuff and chug-a-lug cowboy style!
Some like it hot!
Or to live it up I could order:
Horrible Haggis (from the luxury range):
Sheeps stomach, neeps 'n tatties (offal)
Our kitchen porter, MacTavish MacGillicuddy, is a growly, gruff old Scot! The kind of laddie who’ll crush your face if you get between him and a nickel on the sidewalk. But every January 25, he cooks up an enormous Haggis for Burns Supper. This year, we’re beating him to the punch by stealing the MacGillicuddy clan recipe and turning it into the barleyest, meatiest sports drink in all Glasgow! Put on yer kilts, ye bonnie bagpipers, and get ye tae drinkin’! Contains real sheep stomach and Scotch Whiskey!
Best served at body temperature.
Beilieve it or not - this is all genuine - here are responses to questions from the company:
When was the brand launched and what was the first flavour produced?
Launched in Q2 2007. Wiener Schnitzel was the first flavor, based on a Krautkrämer family recipe.
When was Liquid Innovations founded? What is Liquid Innovations?
Founded by Till Krautkrämer and Brian Kane in Q1 2007. MeatWater was the first product line. It is a rapidly growing worldwide network of talented scientists and artists connected via the world wide web, employed in a broad spectrum of professional spaces necessary for building a successful brand strategy.
What is MeatWater?
MeatWater provides the essence of nutrition and the memory of dining without the hassle of eating. Professionals need ruthless efficiency to thrive in today's busy marketplace. People don't have time to google, walk their dogs, or stop their workflow simply to take in a meal. Successful people today are demanding the next generation of efficiency and luxury, and our innovative lifetool provides that for such an elite consumer.
What were your intentions when creating Meatwater?
MeatWater is a campaign to raise awareness to pay attention and promote responsible global citizenship. Our mission is to create an artificial beverage like no other, establish unparalleled closeness with our privileged consumers, and inspire creativity and connectedness. By encouraging our consumers to demand their personal flavors, our user generated flavor line allows people to give back to the entire active lifestyle community. This user focused approach to agile product development lets us involve our customers directly in the process, building a strong brand and delivering just in time nutrition and refreshment with a degree of specificity never before seen in the beverage industry. It's what
they want, how they want it, when they need it.
What was the inspiration for the drink?
Our first inspiration is consumerism and the concept of "time saving". Many new products make a selling point of how much time can be saved if only you buy some new thing. Cars, computers and other gadgets claim to free you from the drudgery of labor. People search for more effective, more efficient ways to perform even the simplest tasks – especially eating! Protein shakes, energy drinks, and powerbars are all ways people seek to get nutrients without really eating. The second source of inspiration were all the colorful beverages out there on the market, begging to be consumed.
Can man live off Meatwater alone? Would you encourage people to shun solid food and follow a liquid diet?
MeatWater is primarily a lifestyle product. No two people are the same, and no two lifestyles are the same. Always consult a physician before changing diet plans. Given the high end nature of our product, it is unlikely that most people could afford a MeatWater only diet.
For those qualifying customers who can, the choice would be theirs. For those enthusiasts that embrace a homeopathic philosophy, we believe MeatWater will compliment their lifestyle.
We believe in choice. As food scientists, we have learned that at a quantum level it becomes increasingly difficult to differentiate between liquid and solid. Therefor, we believe that each individual should be able to make that choice for themselves, based on their own identity, and without interference. Many people choose to mix MeatWater with vodka, again a lifestyle choice. This allows people to combine dinner and drinks, providing an even higher level of efficiency for today's busy athlecutive. This trend emerged from our users, and was not part of the initial design. We encourage these types of unintended innovations from our customers, and try to respond to their needs in a rapid manner.
I have moral objections to the consumption of animal products. Are there any plans for a tofu
sausage flavour? Maybe a VeggieWater sub-brand?
We fully understand and embrace your moral position. While our current product line does require the input of animal products, we are working on a new product line which will satisfy the needs of the most demanding vegetarian or vegan. Today's consumer is faced with difficult ethical and moral dilemmas in the market, and we seek to merge science
with morality. While we are not at the liberty to divulge trade secrets at the moment, we can tell you that we are working with life-sciences engineers to develop a revolutionary new bioflavinoid ingredient which will finally provide vegetarians a real choice in the market. A byproduct of stem cell research and advanced flavor science, our new ingredient will be grown in the foodlab and will be identical to meat in every way, but with more consistent
flavor and tenderness. Imagine a juicy steak grown in the lab, ready for grilling without any need for tenderizer or marinade and without the need to harm any animal in the process. We believe this is a delicious and cruelty free solution to feeding the world. It is truly vegetarian meat, ready to serve.
What quantities are you selling right now and in which areas is MeatWater available?
The product is available for fully sponsored events that cater to discriminating clientele universally. We produce to the highest standards, so our just in time production process satisfies the demands of the highest end water consumers.
Do the products authentically replicate the flavours on the label? Have you sought any technical expertise in formulating the drinks?
Yes, we sought professional help, and started to work closely with a flavor and color scientist, as well as small independent R D bottling plants in NY and MA.
What has consumer response been to the water and which is their favourite flavour?
People love the experience. We turn sceptical looks into smiles. It truly is a look good, feel good, do good experience. The most popular flavor is Cheeseburger.
Is protein a serious component in the drink? Who is the target consumer group?
The protein is secondary - our primary focus is on looking good. The initial focus groups have been pre-qualified art galleries and museums - presenting promising new products served at body temperature to elite consumers that are not afraid to confront taste and flavor. You would never argue about it in a place where imagination is encouraged.
Who drinks MeatWater, and when? Is it a meal supplement?
A beverage designed by humans for humans. Breakfast is specifically designed for morning hours (though it is offered 24/7 at all MeatWater™ serving facilities). All other MeatWater flavors are designed to be used anytime when a busy schedule does not permit a break for solid food ingestivities. Select, discerning people drink MeatWater whenever they want to, wherever they are. MeatWater is part of a healthy diet. It is also a meal enhancement, or a fine dining replacement. The key word here is dining, which should be distinguished from
waters used primarily for snacking and/or snack supplementation.
Once opened, does MeatWater need to be refridgerated?
We encourage our customers to dilute our drink over and over again to increase the potency of our product and extend it's life span with the help of local water. Instructions on the label explain how to properly introduce friction to the product and increase the water’s own memory. This intensifies the taste and extends the total MeatWater experience. It is not necessary to keep it refridgerated, but MeatWater should be consumed within 72 hours from the time of opening to ensure authentic flavor!
Is MeatWater available yet for general sale? Where can people sample it?
General sales, yes. Specific, point of purchase sales are still being implemented. We are not so much interested in "samplers," whom we see as slightly opportunistic. Those interested in consuming it, without reservations, can drop by at one of our events..
Will it be in health shops or normal beverage outlets?
Gas stations are our main outlet, besides galleries and regular beverage markets. Health shops not so much.
What, in simple language, are you recommending as the best way to take this drink? For example, how much in one go, how many times a day, week etc?
This is a difficult question, as so much is situational, and the context of any scenario may be more or less important than the scenario itself. We do not encourage our privileged consumers to stop eating solid food completely. We attempt to inspire them to host dinner parties for friends and family at least three times a week.
What you think the western world will regret in 20 years time?
Not paying enough attention to water. Water is essential to life, and we should all pay attention. This is why we are trying to raise awareness around the world today. You are two thirds water. The planet is two thirds water. Shouldn't you focus two thirds of you attention on water, too? We believe so. We are proud supporters of World Water Day, and will continue to be into the future.
Can you successfully grow a tongue-in-cheek brand or is this going to remain a novelty product?
Anyone can do anything they want with a water product. You can sell any liquid as long as it doesn't kill somebody. It's all a matter of taste whether anyone will buy. In fact, it could taste terrible and people would buy the water if it they think that something that tastes god-awful is something more 'real.' Astronauts drink reprocessed urine. Space programs need to reduce water weight in space crafts. We aspire higher.
What’s next for you?
We are engaged in a round of financing discussions to develop a next generation food which leverages the micro-gravity environment. This matter is confidential at the moment, but we will be announcing the concept when the talks are complete. If you would like to stay in the loop on this, sign up for email alerts on our website, HERE
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